A Divided Mind by M. Billiter Blitz & Giveaway

A Divided Mind 

M. Billiter 

Published by: Tangled Tree Publishing

Publication date: July 27th 2019

Genres: Adult, Psychological Thriller

Sometimes that little voice in your head isn’t always yours.

What if the only friend you have isn’t real? When the voices in his head begin to make sense, high school senior Branson Kovac turns to the one friend he’s still got… only to discover he’s not really there.

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EXCERPT:

For everyone’s concern about me hurting myself or someone, cutting into a frozen frog didn’t prompt any crazed thoughts. Now the kid next to me who kept tapping me on the shoulder like he had a nervous tick, he deserved a beatdown just for annoying me.

“Branson, help me out. What is this?” He pointed to a part of the frog.

“For the hundredth time, it’s the liver.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

No shit.

I was identifying the other parts of Kermit’s anatomy when tick boy tapped me again on the shoulder.

“What?” I glared at him and he backed away. That sudden jolt of anger triggered the shadow people. I shook my head, but it was still there. I saw a shadow of a person pick up the scalpel and attack tick boy with exact precision, cutting him across the throat. The only color I could see was red.

Author Interview

Tell us about yourself and how many books you have written.

Hello! I’m M. Billiter. “A Divided Mind,” is my 15th book, but my first work of domestic fiction. After writing more than a dozen romance stories, the universe brought a different type of story into my life that I knew had to be told and one I was uniquely qualified to write.

What is the name of your latest book and what inspired it?

“A Divided Mind,” started with a phone call. It was the day before a major college kickoff event I had helped plan for more than a year. I was crazily finalizing last-minute details when my son, Kyle, called saying he needed to talk. I still remember my exasperation from being bothered at work. What? What could it be now? With four children to support, I was finally getting my boots on the ground as an adjunct professor. My placement on the planning committee was a huge step forward in my career. An interruption at work meant a disruption in what I was trying to build.

When I pressed Kyle for an answer, he started to back away from the conversation. That's when I knew. I knew it was more than a phone call. And suddenly, I couldn't breathe or stop my mind from racing - pregnant girlfriend, drugs, failing a class? What I heard in reply wasn't at all what I expected.

“I’m hearing voices.”

I didn't understand what was happening to my son. I only knew I wanted it to go away. The campus event no longer mattered. In trying to build "something," I let what truly matters - family, children, home life - break down. As I sat in the waiting room at the counseling center while Kyle saw an emergency intake specialist, my only focus was on my little boy.

At, 6'1 my 18-year-old was far from little. He was my gentle giant, my brave heart. Together we navigated the world of mental health without any clue what was ahead. During this time, the journalist in me surfaced. I asked a lot of questions, which I wasn't always sure I wanted to know the answer.

By delving into the darkness, Kyle shared with me demons I never knew he battled. It was heartbreaking and heroic. The story we lived became the story we told - with a twist. What started as a quest for answers turned into, “A Divided Mind,” a fictionalized, chilling story of what could happen if a divided mind was left untreated.

Do you have any unusual writing habits?

Lately, I’ve traveled a lot for work. When random pockets of time present themselves, I’ll pull out my phone and start writing. The “Notes” section on my iPhone is my go-to for writing. Whether I’m in line for coffee or the Metro, a note is open and I’m text/typing or voice messaging into the folder. It’s amazing how much I can accomplish in a short period of time -

like answering a Q&A for a book tour! I cut and paste the questions into the note section, answer them and then email myself the file. That’s key! I backup my work by emailing or texting myself the file.

What authors, or books have influenced you?

When Oprah began her book club, I discovered a lot of great authors – Tawni O’Dell (Backroads), Elizabeth Berg (Open House), or Wally Lamb (I Know This Much Is True). Her monthly book selections that focused on domestic fiction, women’s issues, and literary works were gems that expanded my library.

I’m also a admirer of short stories. Benjamin Percy’s short story work is phenomenal. Authors like Percy, O’Dell, Berg and Lamb, who are at the top of their game with superior craftmanship – character development, engaging plots, and emotion that is palpable – challenge me to put my best work on the page.

What are you working on now?

“The Divided Twin,” is a stand-alone work of domestic fiction. For readers of, “A Divided Mind,” the story picks up four years later in the lives of the Kovak family.

What is your best method or website when it comes to promoting your books?

Great question! I find book tours and book blogs reach readers more effectively than any social media I post!

Do you have any advice for new authors?

Chose to stop listening to that doubtful voice in your head. That voice is a bully that stops you from thinking and worse, creating.

Stand up to that voice. If your little brother or sister were being bullied, you’d stand up for them. Do the same with that voice. Talk to that doubt – address that doubt – with all you’ve already accomplished. Let all those certainties become your guiding belief.

Doubts are traitors that steal from us. Choose to stand up to those doubts. It’s our choices that show who we really are.

What is the best advice you have ever heard?

Hmmm. My sister likes to remind me of all the authors who didn’t hit it big until much later in their career, which always makes me laugh. However, what I’ve always remembered was something Alexandra “Bo” Fuller said during a writing conference in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, “Write to keep drunks awake around a campfire.” If I can do that, then I’ve done my job!

What are you reading now?

“What We Keep,” by Elizabeth Berg

What’s next for you as a writer?

The New York Times Bestseller’s List and a featured spot, in Oprah’s magazine. You know, nothing too big – just everything I dream and hope will happen!

If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and allowed to take 3 or 4 books with you what books would you bring?

“Time Traveler’s Wife,” by Audrey Niffenegger

“Open House,” by Elizabeth Berg

“Back Roads,” by Tawni O’Dell

“On Writing,” by Stephen King

What inspires you to write?

I’m not going to lie – when I meet a reader, who shares with me something about my work they connected with – it makes the long nights, lost weekends, and all that time I devote to writing worth it. I’m so immensely grateful when readers take the time to approach me, email or leave a review – those connections feed my writer’s soul and inspires me to bring my “A” game.

Tell us about your writing process

I steal pockets of time – while I’m in line at Starbucks, in between work meetings, and always during my lunch hour – I write. Whether it’s on my phone, scribbled on meeting minutes, or on my laptop – I write. I don’t have a set number of words I write in a day, but I do focus on completing chapters within a day or two of starting one. Once I begin a new chapter, the storyline and characters consume my thoughts until I finish what they’ve started. And honestly, THAT’S the best part of writing – when the characters take over the story. I’ve often described myself as a stenographer because it often feels as though I’m simply transcribing what they show me.

What do you think about the future of book publishing?

Good question. Since my first book was agented and published in 2011, I’ve seen great changes. Authors have more accessibility to agents, editors, and publishers. As with any growth in an industry there are advantages and disadvantages. Vetting the source that will market your work and you as an author is paramount.

1. What was the inspiration behind this story?

When my son, Kyle was in his senior year of high school and confessed he was “hearing voices,” my maternal instinct was to make them go away. Kyle’s reaction was to discover what was going on. My son and I navigated the world of mental health together without any clue of what was ahead.

As his mom, I often felt powerless to help. In those times, I found that the journalist in me surfaced. As a career journalist, I ask a lot of questions. My teenage son wasn’t too talkative. I asked questions I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answers. But what started as a search for answers grew into a fictionalized story of what could happen if a divided mind is left untreated.

Kyle let me into a world I never knew he had endured. But instead of resigning himself to this life, I saw a young man choosing to have a different path. He worked tirelessly with counselors and mental health experts until he found someone in the field who understood and knew how to treat him. There was never an “easy” solution. But Kyle’s determination to be more than his disease was heroic.

By answering all my questions and delving into the darkness, the story unfolded. I knew how far a mother would go to protect her child and my son told the story of how far a divided mind will go to protect itself.

2. Tell us about your main character.

Branson Kovak will break your heart. From the way he weaves humor in explaining his symptoms to his high school counselor to the inner demons he shoulders alone, he is a beautiful survivor.

3. Which is your favorite minor character and why?

Aaron Kovak is Branson’s identical twin brother. Aaron made me laugh by his reaction to certain situations. Instead of devastation, Aaron often showed another side to coping with his brother’s mental illness. By keeping things light, he often helped his brother the most. Aaron was also intense when he needed to be. He truly took the reigns as the oldest twin. His relationship with Branson remains one of the selflessly ones I’ve ever written.

4. What is your favorite personality trait of your main character?

His honesty. Branson is painfully self-aware.

5. What is your favorite personality trait of your bad guy/girl?

Tara Lafontisee is a single mom, who has crafted her life and those of her children toward optimal success. Her aim at perfecting her family’s image is her attempt to erase her two past failed marriages. When Branson confesses, he’s hearing voices, the house of cards falls. However, what emerges is a single mom, who no longer cares what you think of her or her family. And when she no longer cares about public perception, she’s even more dangerous.

6. Tell us something funny about one of your characters.

The humor. The entire family uses humor to offset situations.

7. One of your characters is going on a shopping spree. Where does he/she go and what does he/she buy?

Branson likes the local convenient store for Mountain Dew and candy.

8. Your character is at a bookstore. Which section is he/she shopping in? What book is in his/her hand right now?

The only family member that would be at the book store is Tara, who would check on her New York Times bestselling book and where it’s located in the store!

9. Your character has the music blasting. What’s playing, and what is he/she doing while listening?

Branson & Aaron like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Tara prefers The Allman Brothers. Little Jack likes Jesse’s singing from “Full House” reruns.

10. I’m inviting your main character to dinner. What should I make?

Anything with a lot of carbs. This family is going through crisis – some aren’t eating (Tara), others are overeating (Branson) and others are left to fend for themselves. (Carson & Jack).

11. Your main character is planning a vacation. Where is he/she going?

Mexico. When I was writing “A Divided Mind,” I often imagined whisking my son, other kids and myself off to a beach in Mexico. The ocean can cure anything.

12. Were you surprised by the behavior of any of your characters or the direction of your plot at any point while writing?

Here’s the best kept secret – there are two endings to “A Divided MInd.” The one I wrote and the one my son suggested, which is how the work concludes.

When I shared my ending to the story with Kyle, he shook his head. "It's not realistic,” he said.

I was torn. His suggested ending didn’t follow the ending I imagined, but I knew in my gut he was right. And now, I couldn’t imagine a different ending.

13. Please share a few favorite lines or one paragraph.

10 quotes from A divided Mind by M. Billiter: #1 – 6 are in Branon’s POV; 7-13 Tara’s.

1. There was no doubt my mind was off the rails.

2. I couldn’t seem to get across to anyone who would listen to me or actually hear me that, while I may have been losing my grip on reality, I wasn’t going to lose my shit on someone else.

3. My tone was sharp and piercing, like one of the many knives I collected. Knives I had to give to my mom when I told her about the “static” in my head.

4. I opened the door and was thrust into the hallway of my high school, surrounded by the chaos of people running around, trying to get to their next class. The nose was a welcome relief, because for a minute, it shut out the static.

5. For a moment, I thought about telling my brother about the constant noise, the unending anger I felt every day for no reason, and the lack of happiness that made me feel empty and utterly alone. But as I stared into his hazel eyes, I saw his concern, and I couldn’t burden my twin with my problems.

6. Aaron’s eyes were a reflection of my own before I began to lose my mind. He gripped my shoulder, and for a minute it seemed like he knew what was happening, like our twin thing was working.

7. I touched the screen, traced his face from a just a few months ago. What happened? I don’t understand. Branson, come back to be. Please. I need you to be okay.

8. I hit the steering wheel and raised my fist to the heavens. I will never forgive You if anything happens to my son. Never.

9. When your child confesses that they’ve been hearing voices and they can no longer keep the “static” quiet, there’s not really anyone with whom to share this revelation. Who would understand this and not judge? Who won’t look at my son differently?

10. My work and education were front and center. To the naked eye, they looked great, even impressive, because that’s what I did for a living. I packaged people to look amazing.

11. I couldn’t even muster a fake laugh. There wasn’t anything funny about mental illness, or thinking that my Branson suffered from anything other than the occasional teenage cold, cough, heartache or acne.

12. The truth of how I felt, nestled beneath all my anger, finally came out in a whisper. “I want his dreams to still be alive. I don’t want to be the one who takes them away.”

14. How long did it take you to write this book?

Six months. And it was the hardest six months of my life.

15. If your book was made into a movie, who would you like to play the lead characters?

I love that this question was asked. I can’t think of a better story to be made into a screenplay. I always imagined Jennifer Gardner playing Tara – from her controlled professional life to her crumbling personal life. I imagine Gardner would walk that fine line exceedingly well.

And since Branson is an identical twin... I think Dylan and Cole Spouse (The Suite Life of Zack & Cody) would be unreal playing teens and twins Aaron and Branson Kovac.

16. How did you come up with the title?

When I interviewed my son, the image/thought that kept appearing was that of a mind divided.

17. Tell us about your cover art and how it pertains to your story.

I can’t wait to see what Claire designs!

18. Of all the books out there, why should readers choose this one? (What makes your book stand out from the rest?)

“A Divided Mind,” delves into the emotional experience of mental illness from both sides of the spectrum, the sufferer and caregiver. When I wrote this story, it was important to shed stereotypes. Branson is a teen, struggling through a serious diagnosis – but he’s not his disease. I was painfully aware that when it comes to mental illness, there is considerable misunderstanding and tremendous judgment.

My hope is that I’ve created characters that are relatable and a plot that is so believable it will generate honest conversations about mental illness for a long time.

19. Is there an underlying theme in your book? If so, tell us about it and why/if it’s important to you.

Forgiveness. There’s not one character in this family, who isn’t seeking or in need of forgiveness.

20. Fiction can often provide powerful life lessons. What message do you hope readers get from your book?

That someone with mental illness isn’t scary or to shy away from. Additionally, people with mental illness are usually the victims of violence then the perpetrators.

Author Bio:

M. Billiter is the alter ego of contemporary, award-winning romance author, Mary Billliter.

After writing more than a dozen love stories, she is exploring the other side. Best known for her emotional honesty, Mary doesn't write about well-adjusted people, but rather the wounds in life.

M. Billiter writes with clarity and raw emotion to explore difficult subjects and issues close to her heart.

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